I am sitting here stunned. No I think I am past stunned. I got some news today that I am not even sure how to process. I am a mass of seething emotions and I am trying to sort it all out and not having too much luck.
My son is living in Moses Lake Washington. In January a girl (Stephanie) moved in with him. I have never met her. Tonight he called and told me she is pregnant. When I could suck breath into my lungs again, I finally asked him how he felt about that. He said that he was shocked at first but now he was glad. He went on to talk about how far long she was … but my mind was reeling. It was hard to focus on what he was saying. All I could think of was “This guy can hardly take care of himself. How can he care for a wife and baby?” But I think I choked out some acceptable phrases. I was finally able to tell him that I thought he had it in him to be a good father.
As I hung up, I was flooded with a sense of sadness. This was not how I pictured becoming a grandmother. I thought there would be a wedding, a sense of family, the gradual getting to knowing of a daughter in law. I am not sure of how we all relate together. I think this will be a step by step process and there is no clear path through it.
I think that I will have to put my pastoral face on, swallow my emotions and just love the three of them. I guess as a mother that is my job after all. I cannot make their choices, but I can love and support them to the best of my ability.
“A wise man's heart guides his mouth” Proverbs 16:23
Just Connie
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