It has been years since I have prepared a traditional Thanksgiving meal at my home. For 10 years I was at the Mission serving Thanksgiving to the homeless and needy. Last year I spent with my Aunt and Uncle and their family. It was good to be with them but I still yearned for a family celebration that all my family would be at. I guess in reality I yearned for how it used to be .... in my other life time.
This year with my son at home, we decided to have Thanksgiving at my place for the two of us. Early Thanksgiving morning I began baking and preparing for our meal. In between preparations we watched movies, played Wii games and relaxed. It was a good day together.
But I found even though I enjoyed my time with him there was a lingering sense of sadness for both of us. Life is very different than it was the last time we had a Thanksgiving meal together. Many of those differences represent loss and grief for us.
Each time that sense of sadness intruded I acknowledged the losses that it represented, but I made a conscious choice to not lose sight of the good that we had. I had the chance to spend Thanksgiving with my son and that is something I have not had in many years.
It reminded me of how often the hurts of my past can rob me of the joy of my present. I know that hope in Christ draws us ever forward ... but I have to choose to set my eyes on Him who offers grace and forgiveness.
It is time to look ahead ....
Just Connie
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