Most of us carry hurts and insecurities from our past. All of my deep hurts in life have centered around the issue of rejection. I know that this is a very tender spot for me and I try hard to compensate for it or to give myself grace when I am faced with rejection. But sometimes ... well ...
Today, I find myself struggling with that all too familiar hurt of rejection. It is a hurt which feels over whelming and all encompassing. The kind of hurt that takes your breath away and reminds you that you are worthless and unloved.' I know all the scriptures that tell me that I am loved. My head knows that it is a fact and that there are people who love me. I even "know" that God loves me. But in the midst of this hurt, it is hard for me to feel any of that with my heart. My heart just hurts.
So ... what do you do when you realize that you really are an outsider to someone? That you do not hold the place in someone's life that you hoped you did? So far all I have been able to do is cry. But I really do not think that is really going to fix anything. What I really want to do is just go to bed and stay there for a week or so, but that is not really going to fix anything either.
So for tonight I will cry and grieve over what I have lost. Tomorrow, life will continue and there will be things to do and people to see. There will be ministry that needs to happen. And for that to happen, I have to allow God to bring solace for my hurting heart.
I honestly think He is the only one that can ....
Just Connie
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