I stroked Charlie's head in my lap as I listened to the vet. This time there was no magical reprieve. The decision I had been dreading for the past year was here. As I stroked her head I thought back over the past 10 years with her.
I remembered her as a fuzzy puppy that filled my face with puppy kisses. I remembered the gangly stage that also accompanied her chewing phase. She did not chew slippers, she chewed the side of the house and the deck. I remembered long nights when I was sick and she tenderly curled up around me. When I started hiking she would patiently pull me up the hard spots and let me lean on her when I was tired. She was a faithful companion to me and always willing to head out to the next adventure. She did things most dogs would not, she crossed logs over rivers, climbed mountains with me and even traversed swaying suspension bridges. I remembered how every spring she would begin excavating the back yard and how sad I was when she did not this year
I remembered this amazingly gentle giant who I could leave with my 100 year old grandmother and not worry about Grammies getting bumped or jostled. Her placid disposition even ran to letting the bunny groom her and even letting Hope Puppy nurse.
In the end those memories helped me to make the decision. I did not want my selfish need of her to cause her to suffer anymore. Tearfully, I held her while she quietly took her last breaths. And though this hurts, I am so very thankful for everything she has brought me over the years. Her faithfulness, her unceasing companionship and the unconditional love she showered me with does not fade away with her life. It lives on in me, reminding me that God loves me and I am never alone.
Just Connie
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