Sadness

I am fighting sadness. I keep trying to hold it at arms length ... but I can feel the long tendrils slipping into my daily life, stripping me of drive, energy and the optimism that usually frames my day. I do not like it, I do not want it here, but yet here it is.

So the question is, what do I do now? I can recognize that I have had a loss, but somehow I think I have the expectation that I will do better, be "more adult", be more together than this. I can even recognize that those expectations  are not healthy, but they seem to keep cropping up.

So I will strive to do what I tell other to do .... I will allow it to be what it is. That means instead of fighting the sadness, I need to fight my false expectations.

I am sad .... and I guess that is an appropriate response to the loss of my companion and friend.

Just Connie