Loneliness is a strange thing. It can come over you at the strangest times. Tonight it hit me as I walked into the house. Hope Puppy was leaping and jumping around me and yet the house felt so very, very empty.
I am learning that living alone means that loneliness is part of my life. It is there in crowded rooms and in still houses. It is there when I roll over in the middle of the night and search for someone who is not there. It is there when I realize that I am avoiding couples based activities.
So the question is ... if loneliness is part of my life what do I do with that? Or perhaps a better question might be .... is loneliness a bad thing? I have a feeling it is a natural outcome of being alone. Loneliness is not the end, it is just part of the process.
But I find that I do not want to remain submerged in this feeling so I am striving to do things that are healthy for me. I am choosing to fill my days with people and projects. I am sleeping with Hope Puppy and hugging her tight during long nights. And I am facing the reality of where I am and that means feeling the feelings that I feel. Tonight .... I am feeling lonely.
Just Connie
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