Today I left work early so I could drive to a neighboring community and get dog food. Now it would seem that you could get dog food anywhere … right? No! Not necessarily so.
First of all I own two dogs. My little 10 pound terrier and my 120 pound sheep dog. As you might imagine, I go through a lot of dog food. To complicate things they both have food allergies. In fact, the last present my grandmother gave me was to spend the month and a half before her death, sneaking food to the terrier. The upshot was a $100 vet bill, a stack of medications and the stern reminder from the vet that I had to keep him on his diet. I had to laugh as I left the vet, to the very end my grandmother did what she wanted.
But on to the dog food. Over the years I have experimented with every possible brand of food. I was always looking for the brand that both dogs could eat so I did not have to separate their food bowls. I tried rice and veggies and special blends none of which worked. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Farm Chow was the winner. Great! It is relatively inexpensive and you can buy it at the local feed store in 50 pound sacks.
It’s those 50 pound sacks that overwhelm me. I put if off as long as I can. But eventually it has to be done. Let me give you a short synopsis of what the process is.
I go to the feed store and pay for the food. They very willingly load it into the car for me. But then I have to unload it at home. I get out of the car and unlock the door to the house and open the patio door. I then grab the bag of food, crouch down and pull and bounce the 50 pounds of dog food onto my shoulder. Then I stand up and it is then that I feel every one of my years and every injury I have ever had. But I eventually make it upright. I find my balance and stagger across the garage, up the steps through the family room and out onto the patio. Then I carefully place the bag (okay I roll it off my shoulder and hope it drops in the right place) onto the rim of the feeding bin and hold it there with one hand while I fish for the knife with my other. I slice the end of the bag open and try to get more food in the bin than on the ground. Then I breathe a sigh of relief that I have a month before I have to go through the whole thing again.
Though the process is ridiculous, the reality is that it takes everything in me to get those sacks of food taken care of. And each time I wrestle with those sacks I am hit with a sense of loss that I am alone and it is one more thing that I alone am responsible for.
I think perhaps my perspective is skewed. Instead of seeing it through the perspective of loss, I think I should be looking at the accomplishment of getting it done and finding satisfaction in being fit and capable. I think I need to begin to find the satisfaction in where I am and the accomplishments to be found in each day. Isaiah 58:11 says:
“The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”
I think it is time to let the water flow.
Just Connie
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