I missed Debbie today. My friend and hiking partner had put up a valiant fight against skin cancer. But her poor ravaged body could fight no longer. It has been several weeks now since she stepped into glory. I really thought that I was coming to grips with the reality of her death, but a casual question about her today took me by surprise. My eyes flooded with tears and I finally said, “I miss her”. I was surprised at the fresh stab of grief that overwhelmed me.
Grief is a strange emotion. It ebbs and flows… sometimes like a small brook pushing through the reeds and other times like wild flood waters threatening to destroy everything in it’s path.
I’m trying to stay out of the path of destruction. I know that I cannot avoid the flood water completely. I recognize that grief is a process and it will take time. I cannot shortchange the hurt I am experiencing and there are lessons to be learned right where I am.
Debbie and I spent considerable time talking about her life and her approaching death. One of the things she expressed to me over and over was that she wanted us to celebrate her life, not mourn her death. I am challenging myself to look past the loss and recognize the many ways that she enriched and changed my life.
“Weeping may last for the night time, but in the morning comes joy.” Psalm 30:5
I find myself longing for the morning.
Just Connie
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