Yesterday the neighbor boys came and helped me take all the Christmas decorations out of the attic. That means today I began to unpack and sort things. I had not touched any of the Christmas things since Gerrald left two years ago. But I knew that it was time to sort it and put some things away.
I did fairly well though I really drug my feet about getting started. I began to take out tree decorations and things were pretty good, until I got to the angel for the front room tree. I had a sudden flash back to the day Gerrald and I had found the angel. It was in the basement of the Mission in a pile of trash and throw aways.I can remember carefully cleaning it and how much fun we had decorating our tree together that first year. I looked at the angel in my hand and began to cry. I cried for the senseless loss of our marriage and the loneliness that frames my life now.
In time the tears stopped. I stood up, put the angel on the tree and went on to the next task. I think that sometimes all you can do is take one more step forward. I guess that this was just one more step.
Just Connie
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