Love Never Fails

What a full and busy day. This morning was church and then I went home and frantically finished packing and getting the food together for the retreat. Then I sat down on the couch and fell asleep while I was waiting for my ride.

We drove to the beach and laughed and talked like mad all the way over. Just get a bunch of professional communicators together in one place and you will never be able to get a word in. We unpacked, I got the music together and we sang and just enjoyed the music.

After a fabulous dinner, we had a wonderful time of worship together. One of the pastors’ brought her flute and there is a piano, two of us brought guitars. I think tomorrow we will try to just play music together and enjoy each other. It should be lots of fun.

Our big discussion tonight was our philosophy of ministry. I think all of us were in the same line of thinking. “Love never fails”. Our ministry at Willamina is all about building relationships and loving people. It is a great scripture to focus on.

“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

But as usual it made me stop and think. The scripture keeps going through my mind. Has love failed for Gerrald and I? Did I fail to love as I should? Did I give up too quickly? Is 9 years of alcoholic rages enough fear and turmoil? How many times of being left is enough? Is 6 times enough, or the 7 or 8th I think this is.

In truth, I really do not think love failed us. But I think the alcohol failed us both. I think the alcohol whispered lies and promises that my husband believes. I think that when he drinks he does not have to deal with me or any other problem or stressor. I think there are hurts in his life that alcohol blurs for him. It makes me incredibly sad but I do not see a fix for this. I think the hurt and the damage has gone too far.

But I still think that love is the answer. I still need to receive God’s love, I need to give and express love in healthy and godly ways. Even when I do not feel loved or loving. There is love all around me. I cannot let my grief insulate me … because love never fails.

Just Connie