I met with friends tonight for movies and dinner. It was absolute chaos. Wonderful and exuberant but total chaos. I think that sometimes chaos is good for us. I think that it was good for me.
I wish I could shake the edge of sadness that I can feel around me right now. Even things I enjoy are colored by that sadness. For the last few days it has been lurking there in the back ground. and sometimes jumping all too prominently to the foreground.
My mind says that it takes time, my heart says, “I want to be fixed right now”. I feel broken. I keep reminding myself that I am not wrong or bad in what I am feeling. It is just …. how I am feeling. That is not wrong it just …. is.
So tonight I will just try to be where and what I am. I will keep pushing myself to make healthy choices and try to not isolate myself. But I will not beat myself up for feeling sad.
I am learning, I think perhaps I need to let my heart lead the way.
“I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw” Proverbs 24:32
Just Connie
No comments:
Post a Comment