Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Separation Thoughts

I am a single trying to live in a world of couples. I forgot how very uncomfortable it can be. I was asked the dreaded question again today … “Are you married?” I am never quite sure what to say. I would love to have a graceful witty response. Instead I paused and said, “I’m separated”. It just sounded so stark and empty. I could tell that the other person did not quite know what to say. I smiled and changed the subject, wishing that I knew what to say.

There are those (especially in the church world) that find me suspect and outside of God’s will. I know that when I give out that information that often times I am diminished in their eyes, It seems that my skills, talents and heart does not outweigh the shame of a broken marriage.

I have to learn to stand against this feeling of false shame. I have not failed. I have not stepped outside of God’s will. My husband broke covenant with me … again and again. I need to really believe that and hold on to it or the careless words of judgmental people will distract me from God has called me to do. I guess it does not matter what others think. it matters what God thinks.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

I think ….. I need to go and think about it.

Just Connie

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