The Roller Coaster

I have never liked roller coasters. It never seems like a good idea to purposefully put yourself in a piece of equipment that hurtles you through the air to what looks like almost certain death. I remember once at the state fair some friends talked me into going on with them. I ended up in a terrified huddle on the floor of the car. They finally stopped the ride and let me off. There was nothing fun about that experience. I can still remember the paralyzing fear that gripped me that day.

As I reflect over the past 10 years on the reality of living with an alcoholic, I realize that it was a roller coaster ride. The emotional ups and downs and the fear that paralyzed me. There were times that the ride was not terrifying, but then we would crest the top and hurtle downhill. And I would be that young terrified girl desperately looking for a way to stop the ride.

I am working hard to conquer the fear that still grips me at times. I do not want to be defined by the "bad things" that have happened to me. I want to fully step into the freedom that Christ has for me. I am healing and I am learning. I am also very grateful for what is happening in my heart and life.

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear" Isaiah 58:8

However, I still do not like roller coasters.

Just Connie